Tag Archives: friendship

5 career and leadership lessons from Rise of Planet of the Apes

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Very few of us spend our days in a pharmaceutical research laboratory watching the reactions of chimps and apes for clues whether a wonder drug could cure Alzheimer’s. Fewer still end up taking home a super-intelligent young simian, as the scientist and co-star does in Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

Yes, this new movie by director Rupert Wyatt is science fiction and it’s far afield from our 9 to 5 experiences. Yet it contains lessons that may apply in most workplaces, and for anyone who’s eager to shine or move into a leadership role.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes offers some cautions on bending and breaking rules, both ethical and safety, and some insights on managing your ideas and team. Here’s five that I observed after seeing this film over the weekend:

  1. Sell your ideas with confidence. Scientist Will Rodman makes bold assertions to investors about his first big drug, called AOZ-112. He gives them an enthusiastic endorsement of its potential – though it had barely been tested. He also masterfully convinced his success-driven CEO to test a second compound later in the film. Perhaps to sway him more effectively, Rodman, played by James Franco, delays sharing a crucial detail – the drug may make you smarter and more capable, not just reverse the effects of Alzheimer’s. It’s not clear how much time he spent practicing before the investor meeting, but I’m betting he received some coaching. The lesson: Prepare to pitch your ideas, and hone your sales skills.
  2. Prepare for surprises. While you may never experience an angry ape breaking into your business presentation, you could suffer through many lesser disruptions and interruptions. Your laptop may freeze up; your assistant could be ill; a key decision-maker may run late or may be full of surprisingly tough questions. Anticipate what you’ll do in a variety of “surprise scenarios” and you’ll come off as polished and prepared, for almost anything. You may even want to develop an alternate script in case there’s a major problem or glitch.
  3. Know your moment to lead. Caesar, the super-smart ape, mostly seems content to live with Rodman, though he clearly grows more restless and eager to understand the world as he grows up. Once he is imprisoned for attacking a difficult neighbor, he unleashes his leadership abilities. He wants to escape – and bring along the other primates who are badly treated and bored. He enlists the biggest gorilla there and gradually develops a plan and a following. You may never lead such a dramatic escape but you can show leadership in tough times or when others waver. And you can seize on opportunities to take charge and offer valuable direction. To do this well, though, you must win the confidence of your peers beforehand.
  4. Move toward clear goals. Rodman wanted to develop a cure for Alzheimer’s, or a drug that would counteract its effects. Caesar wanted to create a home for himself and the other apes amid the redwoods where they could be free. They started with on a clear end in mind and stayed true to the goal – even when the scientist’s lab was disbanded and his project labeled a failure and even when Caesar was offered the chance to return to his human home. That make it or else mindset can prove powerful in achieving career successes – especially if you gain your boss’ backing on your goals.
  5. Beware of blurred boundaries. When the lines between work and family and your life become too blurred you may never find a peaceful moment. Or you could lose your objectivity or your ability to draw distinctions between personal and professional pursuits, as the scientist seemed to. This can lead to problems including ethical lapses and lost credibility. In the movie, Rodman ended up helping himself to the experimental drug because he believed it could help his father. He kept conducting research from home without approval of his bosses – and that could have cost him his job and his credentials. In today’s complex, overlapping world, it’s important to have clear ethical standards – and a personal rules that give you space for a personal life unfettered by work or career. Even if you integrate work and life seamlessly, sometimes you need boundaries and limits on each.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes captured my attention for its mix of humanity and technology, surprise, planning, action – and workplace dilemma and lessons.  What lessons did you pick up from it? What did you think of it?

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Five ways to take the path of thriving as easily as you brew tea in the morning

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“Life is what we make of it. Always has been. Always will be.” – Grandma Moses.

“Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.” -  Danny Kaye

My picture for myself:  I am thriving and finding so many successes, so many friends and so many adventures and opportunities for travel, generosity, joy and love. Despite a few struggles and slip-ups very occasionally, I live an abundant life and create many good things – stories, articles, seminars, connections, jobs, assistance for those in need.

And I am determined this year to be more intentional in how I live and how I create life day by day. Here’s five ways we each can thrive, no matter what happens to the job market or the profit margins or the economy:

1. Know what you’re the best at; where and how you excel.

Know your niche and use your talents well. Play to your strengths – and make sure everyone sees you shine. A basketball player who scores most of the time and can reach the rim repeatedly doesn’t have to think about defensive play. Likewise, an administrative assistant who keeps office running smoothly and the boss’ key tasks on track will be valued and may even score a raise or bonus.

2.  Feed your mind and your body with goodness.

Choose books and blogs as carefully as you pick out organic vegetables at the farmer’s market.  Recently, I’ve started carving out about 30 to 40 minutes a day (well most days) to read a book. Sometimes I grab some  water or tea and my book and sit in the sunshine. Sometimes I  stay in bed an extra half hour in the morning to read – a luxury that makes me feel like a queen. Books as delicious as vegetarian chili include The Happiness Advantage, The Optimist’s Daughter and The Fifth Agreement.  I’m savoring more poetry and a few novels too, along with winter squash and greens.

3. Develop diverse friendships.

These people serve as the fruit trees to your life. Certainly you want peaches and apples, raspberries, oranges and grapes. So find friends at work and while volunteering. On grow them on BrazenCareerist or LinkedIn, in a  writers group or chance encounter at a coffee shop. Once I met one while walking around my new neighborhood.  Then make sure you give them all the support, encouragement and assistance they need – so when your needs spike they already feel connected enough to assist you.

4. Cultivate curiosity, creativity and adaptability.

Curiosity is the triplet that grew up with creativity and appreciating or at least accepting change, key traits in today’s work world. All three will make you better, more informed and more likely to spot opportunities for yourself and your employer.  Curiosity also will encourage you to ask questions, to look beyond the obvious and to unearth information and insights.

Adaptability serves us well in these unsettled times. “We’re in the midst of this vast transformation. No one can see the outcome,” said M.J. Ryan, author of an excellent book called AdaptAbility. More from her soon on Glassdoor.com . (LINK) So be open and flexible and as Ryan suggests, look for ways to marshall your resources and focus your energies not on the past but on your future plans. And creativity in life and in solution-getting can make stones sing and problems disappear.

5.  Seek a second or third stream of income.

You may feel you have the most steady, reliable job in the world. But so did auto workers not so long ago or the staff at Aon and Hewitt Associates until their merger knocked 1,800 people out of jobs. So start thinking of yourself as a slash careerist – someone who has two or three jobs that bring satisfaction and income. And begin now to develop your second source of funds – something you can manage in your off hours. Seek ads for your popular blog or offer to work weekends for a real estate agent handling all the foreclosed homes. Help a friend with her start-up. Work as a waitress on Saturday nights. Crochet scarves; sell them on etsy or at a local farmers market.  Pray and plan that Mity Nice will make a profit this year. Someday this second income may be your primary source of living expenses. Or maybe your hobby business will grow into the real deal. Or perhaps your favorite cousin will need work and you’ll be able to train her to crochet the hats that match your scarves.

To be sure, there are other ways to brew thriving like you would a good cup of tea. So start your own list of habits and goals that will stir up a drink of life’s elixir as you stroll Abundance Lane or speed along Thrive Highway.

MORE INFORMATION:

M.J. Ryan’s books and blog are on my highly recommended lists.

I’m just starting to explore GoodReads, but I think it could be a rich resource.

Money Under 30 has 10 good tips for making moonlighting work.

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Find a stress buddy and relax a bit

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If stress at work keeps grabbing hold of you, you may need a “stress buddy” plus some strategies on saying no effectively.

Pouring on SPEED  could help too – though not the run fast and work faster sort.

That’s advice of Mark Gorkin, a psychotherapist and author of “Practice Safe Stress.”  SPEED is his formula for natural stress reduction – and it means Sleep (six or more hours a night), Priorities, Empathy, Exercise and Diet.

All those pieces of SPEED are valuable to help keep workers from burnout, he said.

So will finding  “a stress buddy at work,” he said, a coworker you trust. This colleague will allow you to vent and respond with what he calls “tender loving criticism.” This person is “in your corner and will challenge you a little,” he said, noting that his girlfriend often serves that role in his career and life.

Known as The Stress Doc, Gorkin feels stress most often when he has a number of programs back to back – he generally gives at least six to 10 speeches or seminars a month. He sometimes reschedules seminars and knows he must “be willing to disappoint people.”

Eating a good lunch and an afternoon snack will revive and sustain – and give a break from the pressures to produce. I am trying this by noshing on apples, raspberries and yogurt in the afternoon, or a handful of almonds and a glass of juice. I’ve also started using meditation or a short 15 minute nap to drain the stress and deliver more focus and creativity.

Gorkin has spoken on the value of letting go – of fear, of the wrong career or of too much stress in your life.  He believes in humor and community as powerful antidotes to stress. He  has helped create programs for military wives, small business owners and women, including a Busy Women’s Retreat in the Blue Ridge Mountains of West Virginia that sounds divine.

One of his sayings: “A firm no a day keeps the ulcers away and the hostility too.” Add to that  a firm yes to stress-reducing health foods, a brisk walk and an empathetic friend and your stress levels shall be less.

A version of this first appeared in the Washington Post Working, and I hold the copyright on this article.

For more stress relief and other advice, Mark Gorkin’s website has links and resources galore.

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7 More Ways to Help A Jobless Friend

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“If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.”  ~Mother Teresa

“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.” -Martin Luther King Jr.
Economic worries weigh heavy on so many people today – and the paths to prosperity seem so elusive.  For millions of jobless Americans, the world feels dark, bleak, frightening.

We know our unemployed cousin Leroy needs a hand or our Aunt Millie is facing foreclosure. And we know we could reach out to our neighbor or friend, who lost her job a year ago. Whether family or friend, former colleague or ex-teammate, jobless Americans need our help. They need encouragement, support – and a job. But what can we do that the Obama administration and Congress couldn’t? Plenty.

My blog post on Glassdoor.com gives five ways you can help. Here’s seven more in case you have a lot of jobless friends – or want to provide a variety of kindnesses:


1. Become their “goal buddy.” Help them set goals, work on them and achieve them. Hold their hand and hold them accountable for some action and outreach. They could do the same for you – and keep you advancing, whether you’re working to lose weight or launch a blog or business.

2. Free them to have fun. Watch local calendars for free events, lectures and other activities. Mix up the kinds of things you see together – to give them some fresh ideas and perspectives on the world. Before you head to the lecture or event,  remind them that the person sitting next to them could be their next boss or cubicle mate.

3. Help  change their perspective, attitude, outlook. Buy them a book “Life Is So Good” by George Dawson and Richard Glaubman  or AdaptAbility by M.J. Ryan, What Color Is Your Parachute by Richard Bolles or something else that uplifts and encourages. Suggest a mantra that reinforces their talents. Send an uplifting quote by email every day for a week. Buy a pack of Goddess Cards or Power Thought Cards (yes, I’ve used both and they are useful for difficult times).

4. Drop off a care package. The food may differ from what you’d send a college student. But the idea’s the same – the care and feeding of someone starts with some good food. Make homemade soup and buy a loaf of bread. Pick up a pound of roasted almonds, a few energy bars and a gift card for their favorite restaurant. Or buy them a couple bags of groceries – including a small luxury item they’ll savor – and drop it by their place.

5. Listen. Just be there.  In the book When Bad Things Happen to Good People.  Rabbi Harold Kushner says when you go through the toughest times, through tragedies and loss, friends can help just by being there. Sit and listen to them, assure them they are loved. No need to give advice or answers.

6.  Volunteer for success. Encourage them to sign  up for some volunteer work that will work for them. Help the chamber of commerce at its quarterly mixer by registering guests.Assist the local hospital with a fundraiser or a business incubator’s open house or other project. Give time to nonprofits where successful business people are engaged and involved and be clear that you want to work for a socially responsible enterprise and boss like them. More from my Washington Post article on volunteering for career success or my blog post from March.

7. Write them a love letter. Platonic love of the whole person can lift them up and help combat depression and despair. Remind them of the hard times they’ve gotten through before. Tell them how much you appreciate their innate skills and nature. Appreciate their lifetime of accomplishments. Appreciate their friendship and the things they’ve already done for you and others. Write the letter long-hand or print it out from your computer and mail it to them. That way they will have it to pull out and look at when they need to recall how good they are, and how much they are appreciated.

There must be a dozen other ways to help those in need, many  small and many easy. What are you doing to lend a hand? How are you helping?

The Quote Garden creator Terri Guillemets says: “If I had to sum up friendship in one word, it would be comfort.”   This week and every week, be a friend to someone who’s out of work.

Huge thanks to my friend Anita LeBlanc and my sweetheart, Mark. Both help many people and both shared ideas for this post.  And thanks to to QuoteGarden and ThinkExist, which supply me with amazing and uplifting quotes here and on Twitter (@ WorkingKind) .

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